Prinza+Pull+-+Affidavit



Sworn Statement of Prinza Pull

1. My name is Prinza Pull.

2. I work as a stage hand for The Little Oddities Sideshow and Carnival. I never met Lana. I knew her uncle.

3. The Wolfman and I were friends, until he cheated at poker. We were playing a friendly hand, and I wagered my parrot, the one they call Einstein now. Even at the time I knew that Wolfman cheated, but I didn’t figure it was a big deal; the bird was just a pain in my backside. Never spoke a word back then, not until the Wolfman took him in. I don’t know why the parrot hid his talent from me, but I don’t hold a grudge for that.

But now it seems that bird's making money hand over fist, and I’m thinking some of that profit’s rightfully mine. After all, technically, it should still be my bird. Everyone knows the Wolfman was a cheater; he’d cheat his own children just to get a free soda. Lawyers tell me my case won’t stand up in court, but I know what’s rightfully mine.

A bet's no good if you cheat, and you can’t pass on what was never really yours. That parrot belongs to me, and all the profits do too, or at least some of them.

Subscribed and sworn to under the pains and penalties of perjury